Try not to lead me down a road you can’t follow
A mind to mind voltage that leaves the heart wanting
And bodies tingling in tandem
A confluence of rivers meet to form a single channel
in a world too overwhelming to be navigated by
one
alone
Try not to let your weak countenance soak up my soul
And promise the rich tapestry of your mind
while denying your body and time
A darkness only be lit by your touch
A moment of climax, a damp squib when you leave
Try not to seep your rainbows into my sky
if you can’t keep them shining
Your colours refract through the water in my limbs and chest
A spectrum of light that departs once the sun moves
yet a microscopic tear remains
Try not to promise the opening of a door you won’t walk through
A crevice with an ephemeral portal into the unknown
that terrifies with no offers , no guarantees
A life of happiness shaken, but not yet stirred
an existence unmoved until you walked in
Try not to, if you can help it
Waxes and wanes
like the moon
Ebbs and flows like the tide
Blows and breathes like the wind
Undulates and swells like the earth
Peaks and troughs like a mountain
Rises and falls like a river
Rhymes and rhythms like all of the world
Checking in with the heart
should be as second
nature,
as checking the lights
when we leave the house
I read the stars this morning
and checked your social media page more times than I’d care to admit
a hunger within to taste something new
I scroll past days where I don’t yet exist
from another existence I’m still piecing together,
pausing over every picture
put up in pre-meditation or for validation
Coffees, selfies, books, a box of raisins
trying to make associations, creating collages inside my brain
hostage to pure fantasy situations in this tricky terrain
I feel your presence near my cheek
and your hot breath warming my ear
As I type words into a digital box, then quickly delete
and so it begins — writing, deleting, repeating
Writing, deleting, weeping
Writing deleting, creeping
A fleeting feeling that convinces me
our paths are somehow aligned, intertwined
That can of soda, that look, that touch
now just a runny mascara smudge
I can’t persuade your mind to want more
Even if our horoscopes say it’s so
Or maybe it isn’t
What’s the difference anyway
levitating
in pastel-like moonlight
above a crescent
lit, to show the starry night
i am awakening
to my purpose
with a soul on fire
and a heart splayed open
ready to receive the constellation of riches
i may be given
to serve others
It happened somewhere between 2021 and this
plate of sushi
Or when you tossed the other half of your tuna sandwich in the bin that time
And it turned into a stinking mess
A big stinking mess around
The big blue called out as it crawled towards shorelines
Washing up rancid animal debris
As a gift to humanity
"Look, look what I’ve delivered", waves whispered.
"See the destruction shovelled into my waters
The unsolicited death that stains my wet skin crimson
I’ve brought it back"
A genocide of moving gravestones
Swaying up and down, up and down
on waves that whimper sadness
"I may be wordless but I still feel pain
All of this,
For a drive when your legs were too lazy,
For a plane ride when my waters felt too slow
For a careless moment when a rubbish bin
was out of reach
For a slice of sashimi, or a salmon dinner, cut open belly first and sliced past its lungs
Soon beach holidays will be nothing more than selfies
taken behind garbage stacks as you gasp for fresh air and tag it #picoftheday"
Question. What do you call an ocean that’s no longer an ocean?
Answer. A salty, blood bath full of plastic fish and rubber ducks
Another question.
Was it worth it?
each time I show you
this fragile shard of glass
you pull it out,
and instead of blood runs love.
Your voice became part of my day
My fingers typed out messages the same way I would sleepwalk
to the fridge every evening past 9pm
and know exactly where the good stuff was in the back right hand corner
I hung on every word you said, a part of the jigsaw puzzle that made up your brain
I would take each piece and jam it in the holes, hoping each time it would fit
Some days we understand each other
in a way that feels like we have our own vernacular
like dolphins,
a hum of wordless whistles and clicks that
school us into believing this watery world we’ve created is real
and where five minutes can turn into two hours and 45 minutes
together time stands still and stillness is what waits
when you are no longer here
to keep diving into other oceans
with a mind to conquer every sea and coastline
so I took my phone, and blocked your trills
to stop you from entering the part of me
that’s still worth something
I’ve been growing a while now
My stem green and firm
Rising through this crack
As if I was meant to be here all along
I am but a common daisy
Easily found and plentiful come spring
Made into chains wrapped around cherubic heads
Or squashed by quick feet, unaware of the beauty
in my white and yellow hat
Nothing special
But here in this grey sea I am unique
Love-me-love-me-not
Hardly as fresh or salubrious
as my companions amassed together in fields of gold
Picked for salads or admired as accessories
in photos, lipstick-kissed and snapped for Instagram
I am solo
A solitary soliloquy
Battle worn, but present
Bellis perennis in all my glory
Bringing light to this forgotten corner